Roasts so good they hurt
Real examples of PageGoblin tearing apart common website mistakes.
Biggest crime
Hero section says nothing
Goblin complaints
- Fluff copy that could apply to any product
- No visible CTA above the fold
- Zero social proof or trust signals
The verdict
“This page is a Rorschach test. Everyone sees something different. Nobody buys.”
Biggest crime
Maximum syllables, minimum meaning
Goblin complaints
- Buzzword soup throughout the entire page
- Pricing hidden behind a sales call
- No human face or team section
The verdict
“The goblin read this page three times and still doesn't know what you sell.”
Biggest crime
Missing the basics
Goblin complaints
- No menu link anywhere on the page
- No business hours listed
- No phone number or contact info
The verdict
“A restaurant website without a menu is like a restaurant without food.”
Biggest crime
Beautiful but purposeless
Goblin complaints
- Stunning visuals but zero direction
- No contact form or email link
- No clear ask for the visitor
The verdict
“This portfolio is a museum exhibit. Admire it, then leave without hiring anyone.”
Before and after the goblin
No vague suggestions. The goblin gives you concrete before-and-after fixes.
"We leverage synergistic solutions"
"We fix your broken checkout in 48 hours"
CTA button says Submit
CTA button says "Get my free audit"
No testimonials visible
3 testimonials above the fold